The Pantomime season is upon us, and New Labour have already started rehearsing their parts, as was witnessed by Jack Straws' perfomance last week!
Here's our take on the Pantomine farce that Labour expect everyone to sit back, enjoy, and clap loudly with appreciation!
- Gordon Brown as the Great and Powerful Oz
- Jack Straw as (you’ve guessed it!) The Scarecrow with no brain
- Alan Johnson as the Cowardly Lion with no courage
- Peter Mandelson as the Tim Man with no heart
- Harriet Harman as Dippy Dorothy
- John Prescott as Toto The lapdog
Dorothy: “Please, sir. We've done what you told us. We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of Britain. It took us twelve years, but we’ve done it, we’ve melted her. We’ve ruined her economy, we’ve flooded her country with immigrants, we’ve strangled her health and justice system with mountains of paperwork, and we’ve done such a good job on her police force, confidence is at an all time low. They really tried to beat the system you told us to put in place to do the job properly, but we beat them! - So we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir. We want to be re elected so we can keep playing this great expenses game.”
OZ booms out : “Not so fast! Not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow!”
Dorothy: “Tomorrow? Oh, but I want to be re-elected now.
TIN MAN: “You've had plenty of time already! Twelve years in fact”
WIZARD: “No, I'm afraid it's true. There's no other Wizard except me”.
SCARECROW: “D.D.? - hope it's more authentic than the honorary degrees they threw at me”